A tutorial to make the most out of your trip to a 5 star hotel

yest on my way back home i saw this 5 star hotel ITC grand in lower parel...and i remembered this crap me and my frd KQ had made sumtime back...so here it goes

LESSON 1
How do i get free shev,groundnuts etc?
Order any drink of your choice.as u all knw along with the drink u get on the house stuff lik shev and groundnuts and such other titbits
wen the waiter givs u the drink tell him to leave.pluck 2-3 hair from your scalp and drop them in your drink.empty the on the house stuff either in your pocket or in your stomach.after this is done ,call the waiter n complaint to him with agitation about hair flowing in your drink.he will ask u whether u want a replacement..refuse tht n tell him to tak the drink away
so in this manner u hav got free junk snacks
PS- keep dead insects in pocket for added effects and use instead of hair

LESSON 1.5
What if i do want to have a drink.non alcoholic will also do :o
don worry this is also possible
as u all r aware,on each table u get stuff lik vinegar,onion,pickles and most importantly LEMON
keep these lemon aside
call the waiter and order tea n tell him to get sugar separately
wen it arrives ,proceed to squeeze all the lemon avaialble into your water glass.stir well.take the sugar which u just got along with the tea and mix it as per your requirements in the juice.if you want salt,then that is avaialble as it is on your table.stir well again.Your juice is ready
call the waiter n tell him tht your doctor just called you and instructed you to avoid tea.instruct your waiter to cancel your tea order and to take it away.make sure you apologise to the waiter for the inconvenience.
ANJOY your chilled lemon juice

LESSON 3
make sure you carry home the forks n knives n spoons which were available on you table.often many hotels keep flower vases on the tables.make sure you tak the flowers home regardless of whether they are fake or real.
Decorate your own home with them

LESSON 4
make sure u carry home the napkin wich is given to you along with your plate
usually its pure white in color and myt have a hotel logo on it ,but tht doesnt make a difference
u can use tht napkin as your hanky..........

LESSON 5
AIM-to get free mineral water
APPARATUS-an empty bottle,cello tape

ALGORITHM
order a bottle of mineral water.wen the waiter gets it ,instruct waiter to leave.put bottle inside your jacket pocket or inside shirt (jus hide it anywhere!)
stealthily make your way to the toilet n wash basin area
remove a pen or sumthin lik tht n puncture a hole in the bottom of the bottle and collect the mineral water in your own empty bottle.after its done,fill the mineral water bottle with normal tap water.after its full remove cello tape from your pocket.cut a little piece of cellotape from the knife wich u already hav stolen from the table.cover the puncture well so tht no water leaks out.
hide the bottles and make your way back to the table.call the waiter.tell him that you are suddenly not feeling thirsty.instruct him to take the mineral water bottle away.thus you hav not tampered with the seal of the bottle n yet u can anjoy free mineral water

Lesson 2.0 : You wanna a Masala Papad (Rs.20)
for the cost of Roasted Papad (Rs.2)

No sweat !!! Herez how u go about it .....

Order a sada roast papad. As mentioned by prat earlier, u have pickles, chilli powder, salt, pepper, onion etc. on the table. also spoons, forks and a knife will be there.

Cut the onions into small pieces, spread on ur roasted papad, sprinkle nimbu juice, chilli powder, salt.

and there for Rs. 2 u have your masala papad, which wud have cost you Rs. 20 otherwise.

LESSON 4A
when u collect a number of those white napkins, u can stitch a vest
or swimming trunks for urself



LESSON 5

Carry a small bottle which fits in ur pocket, and when u go to wash hands, fill it with the fragrant liquid soap and carry it home for future use.