Random crap of the first order

Monday, September 15, 2008

pointless chats - part 1

it was 630 pm in office and i was bored out of my skull. i went to the good old http://www.atworkandbored.com and did some random surfing around. i noticed this advertisement for rackspace on the side of the webpage. for the uninitated, rackspace is one of the worlds best webhosting centers. i saw this feature on the site called 'chat with our live assistant now'. i was so damn bored and in trance, i clicked on it and started chatting with this random fellow. the transcript is given below.

Welcome to Rackspace. My name is Steven N. and I am a Live assistant. How may I help you today?
you: hi
Steven N.: Hello, what brings you to our site today?
you: where are you guys headquartered?
Steven N.: San Antonio, Texas (USA)
you: can i get an idea of your client list?
Steven N.: American Express, Nike, Marvel, Atari.......
you: thats very good. ive got pretty good feedback of your fanatical support.
Steven N.: Glad to hear!
you: any case studies how you have influenced businesses in the way they function?
you: so tht i can make a case in point to the management
Steven N.: I don't have an example for you right now......sorry.
Steven N.: I am a sales guide here at Rackspace.....I don't have factual information like that in front of me.
you: thts perfectly fine, i will get in touch with my manager and we cane take it from there later
Steven N.: Sounds good!
you: thanks for your time!
Steven N.: You are welcome
Steven N.: Have a good night
Steven N.: Or day

next up for a floral delivery service.

Bruce: Hello, I am here to answer your questions about our floral service.
you: hi
Bruce: How may I assist you with our floral service?
you: i am interested in sending flowers to my family back home. is it possible to get a customised bouquet made
Bruce: We realize how important it is for you to customize the product. However, we currently do not customize any products.
you: will a few alterations be possible if i mention it in the special instructions?
Bruce: yes a few modifications will be done by our outlet
Bruce: no problems with it
Bruce: please mention your request in the special instruction box
you: for example, the basket of cheer (bouquet of the month) looks good, im jus interested to have a few more red roses and a chocolate with it, since she loves them.
you: so im hoping it wont be a problem
Bruce: for delivery to India right?
you: yes, to pune
Bruce: ok that should be done
Bruce: please go ahead and place your order.
you: is it possible to know which chocolates are given?
you: sorry for bothering you, but i want this to be perfect.
Bruce: we will not be able to give you the exact brand of Chocolates
Bruce: but they will be of the best quality.
you: i will take your word for it.
you: thanks for your time.

next up, i hunted down the live assistant of the company which makes this live chat software.

Roy: Hello, I'm here to answer your questions about the LivePerson services.
you: hi
Roy: Hi there
Roy: How can I assist you today ?
you: i am about a open a website for retail of second hand mobile phones
you: i feel its necessary for me to have a live chat feature
you: hence i was exploring the option of using live person
Roy: Ok our package is based on a month to month payment structure
Roy: To best understand your business needs I'd like to have a quick look at your website. Can I please ask for your URL?
you: i want to know if its possible to install a decent level of AI in the chat feature.
you: my website is not up yet. im still in the process of building it.
Roy: ok
you: what about the AI?
Roy: click here to watch our basic feature flash demo
Roy: What do you mean ?
you: thank you. i will go through it.
you: what are the indicative charges per month?
Roy: During peak hours about how many online agents (Customer Support Representatives) will you have responding to inquiries from your website?
you: 20-25 at the most.
Roy: ok
you: it will be called www.dontuseandthrow.com , a relatively small beginning it will be.
Roy: will you have all of them online at the same time ?
you: probably not
you: one person might double up as 3-5 aliases.
Roy: ok
Roy: The price for a LivePerson Pro account is $99/month per seat (concurrent operator).
Roy: Payment is on a monthly basis by credit card with no long term contracts to sign. There are no setups or cancellation fees and you are free to cancel your account at any time.
you: ok.thanks. you hav been very helpful.
Roy: I will be happy to have one of our Product Consultants contact you with additional information and pricing details.
Roy: May I please have your contact information; your full name, URL, office phone number and email address?

of corse i fled after tht.

and this is how i successfully passed 15 minutes of nothing. plz feel free to leave comments like 'ur so fuckin jobless'. i will not mind. for the corporately challenged, plz indulge in this pointless activity and let me know if u enjoyed it.
so this was my high point of the day, wat next? perhaps callin up random call centers or calling up the speaking clock and listenin to it.
or maybe as theITdonkey said, creating a karzzz helpline
Something on the lines of :

Prat : Hi I am a prat, how may I help you?
you : Hi, need to know the length of Himesh's hair.
Prat : Which ones ?

lets see, boundaries do not exist.

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