Random crap of the first order

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

'Tusshar in Wonderland' - A case study on Tusshar Kapoor

This one is for the people who love like seen movies of follow ……know who Tusshar Kapoor is.
For the uninitiated, Tusshar Kapoor is...err..........an actor. Believe me, i thought long and hard before putting the full stop on that statement. Let me just get this absolutely straight and point blank, i think Tusshar Kapoor should just give up on his career in Bollywood. It is going nowhere, in fact his career never even started so to speak. To begin with, lets try and analyze his filmography.

CKkompany (2008), One Two Three (2008), Aggar (2007), Dhol (2007), Shootout at Lokhandwala (2007), Good Boy, Bad Boy (2007), Kya Love Story Hai (2007), Anjaam (2007), Golmaal: Fun Unlimited (2006), Kyaa Kool Hai Hum (2005), Insan (2005), Shart: The Challenge (2004), Gayab (2004),Khakee (2004), Yeh Dil (2003), Kucch To Hai (2003), Jeena Sirf Merre Liye (2002), Kyaa Dil Ne Kahaa (2002), Mujhe Kucch Kehna Hai(2001)

How impressive is that? Each movie less amusing than the other. One must pay heed to the guys determination and never-say-die attitude. What could be the reason for that? One obvious answer would be his irritating sister - Ekta Kapoor. After all, she is the woman who made the worst thing on this planet, read Saas Bahu sagas, into a commercially viable product. She must have said to herself, if i can do that then i can definitely make a star out of my no good brother. She might be the reason behind his never ending motivation.

Seriously, how many fans does Tusshar Kapoor actually have. Where are they? Ive never met a single such human being in real life. Are they the descendents of people who were fans of Puru Rajkumar once? Which reminds me, Puru Rajkumar can actually be someone who Tusshar Kapoor can look upto. His career never really took off. He was just staining his fathers reputation. But thankfully, he realized it on time and gave up acting. Getting back to the point, is Tusshar Kapoor actually serious when he says in interviews that he is doing a variety of roles for his fans? Hasnt he ever realized all his movies are flopping? Has he never researched himself on the internet and seen trash written about him and his movies?

I have a theory regarding all these anamolies. It is what i call 'Tusshar in wonderland'. I beleive that Tusshar Kapoor is leading an artificial, fake life. A fake life created around him by his well wishers, and he himself has no clue about it. The guy baffled me to an extent, that i was inspired to come up with this theory when i was watching the movie 50 first dates. Tusshar lives in a similarly fake world. He has been led to believe that he is a superstar. Everything he sees is fake. Fake fans, fake newspapers, fake television channels, filtered internet. Newspapers and channels which heap praise on him everyday. Fake fans who can do anything just to get a glimpse of him. Websites which dont talk about him well do not reach his laptop. He is hypnotised everyday and told that he is one of India's biggest superstars. He has been brainwashed into believing that girls go weak in their knees after they see him. Of corse, some actresses have been hired to do that periodically in front of him. In a nutshell, there is a small workforce working round the clock ensuring that the truth does not reach him.

The producer of the movie, Golmaal was forced to cast him for the want of funds. The director must have thought, now that we got Tusshar Kapoor, what do we do with him? Idea, lets cast him as a dumb guy, in both ways, as a guy who cant speak and someone who is stupid, the audience will love him. And it worked. Golmaal, remains,till date, his best performance, relatively speaking. And in his own words, Tusshar Kapoor was merely experimenting with yet another challenging role.

Honestly speaking, who would have the guts to cast him as a dangerous, lethal terrorist in a movie like Shootout at Lokhandwala? Lethal Gunman....Tusshar Kapoor?? The sacrifices a director has to make to get funds from a Balaji movie. It must be a contractual obligation.

What has he not tried to establish himself as an actor? Heroic act in a slasher movie - check, Honest cop - check, Shirtless dance in song - check, Invisible hero - check, Negative role - check.

For example, have a look at the picture posted at the beginning of this post. Introducing Tusshar Kapoor as the dragqueen. Can he possibly stoop any lower for the want of attention in the name of experimentation? The pic might indicate that he is on his way in becoming a female vamp in one of Ekta Kapoors serials, his last avenue to gain appreciation.

So, when is his career going to end? The writing on the wall has been present for a long time now. But Tusshki, as the media calls him, refuses to give up. He is still in search of the elusive '2 star' rating for any movie of his. And till that doesnt happen, he will keep resurfacing like the slime on milk. Which probably means, we are stuck with him for the rest of our miserable lives.

God bless humanity.

Edit: For those who do not believe in Tusski, here is something copy pasted from mid day. Reader discretion is advised. The following might disturb you.


  • At September 17, 2008 at 10:25 PM , Blogger Venting Macha said...

    Tushki? Which media calls him a Tushki? I hope its not TOI, I am gonna quit today!

    Thats right, I'll quit and apply to the lil army who keeps the 'wonderland' going. Would be a thrilling job, with 24x7 implications.

    Challenges... Tushki in bed! Eeeks! How do u convince a woman to do that!

  • At September 17, 2008 at 10:39 PM , Blogger prat said...

    don need to convince a woman to do tht...look at the pic in the post,its a woman, but its not a woman.
    and for ur query, the foll has been copied frm mid day. reader discretion is advised

    Tusshki gets blingy
    Tusshar Kapoor may like to drive around in his Merc but when it comes to driving home a fashion statement, he prefers a bicycle. No darlings, he isn't planning to go zipping around Bandra minus his shirt, flashing his abs. All apna Tushki is flashing, is a belt buckle. A Manish Malhotra creation.

  • At September 18, 2008 at 3:26 AM , Blogger AJ said...

    Hey, I am an actual REAL LIFE puru and tusshar fan.... and who are you kidding , so are you!!

  • At September 18, 2008 at 4:31 AM , Blogger prat said...

    if u r a real life tusshar fan, why did u refuse to see ckkompany with me

  • At September 18, 2008 at 11:14 AM , Blogger ITDonkey said...

    What????!! This isnt the glowing eulogy us Tushki fans expected it to be!!
    (I would have written more, but its time for me to watch Kyunki... and Kkussum and Kkumkum).

  • At September 18, 2008 at 7:17 PM , Blogger Siddharth said...

    believe it or not.. i have seen most of the movies you have listed down.. does that qualify me to be a tushki fan ??

  • At September 18, 2008 at 8:58 PM , Blogger prat said...

    im ready to bow down if uve seen shart-the challenge

  • At September 18, 2008 at 9:27 PM , Blogger Siddharth said...

    naah missed that one :( but considering his popularity here i can easily get a dvd and watch it...

    did u watch it ?

  • At September 19, 2008 at 12:25 PM , Blogger Kasturi said...

    Well...I have watched him in couple of movies...whenever i watch him i get a feeling like he has a big inferior complex which reflects on his acting. He is not at all confident to be an actor so thus contributes to the flops!
    Yes, i absolutely agree that Ekta Kapoor has been even more confident to think that her bro will be top actors one day!
    I am not sure if u have seen the movie directed by Ekta, starring Esha Deol and Tushar Kapoor which was probably the very first movies by Balaji Prod. and it is such a badly made movies. You should watch it to realize that even with minimal knowledge of media amatuers can also make a better movie!
    Truly...Tushar Kapoor in wonderland!!

  • At September 21, 2008 at 9:18 AM , Blogger ITDonkey said...

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At January 16, 2009 at 8:56 AM , Blogger ChUcK said...

    Dear Deepak,

    The web site you are trying to access:
    is listed as a site within the category SpywareandP2P

    Current Internet Access Configuration does not allow you to visit sites within this category at this time.
    If you think this web-site should be open, please email at nimesh@mica.ac.in or shaileshp@mica.ac.in

    Sigh :/

  • At January 17, 2009 at 12:56 PM , Blogger prat said...

    i agree for once with the IT man...a tusshar pic lik tht deserves to be firewalled


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