Random crap of the first order

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Phir Mile Sur - What could have been.....

The new phir mile sur video has received a lot of flak. And rightly so. It’s so long and is almost a showcase of bollywood. The selection of the people in the video has come in for lots of criticism.

Hence, me, ravikant kisana (Bengali) and dinesh pitre (marathi) have com up with our own list of the people who actually deserved to be in the video. The following are the people who truly deserved it. The list is in no particular order of my preference.

Tussiar Kapoor

cmon, lets give him some credit. the guy gives new meaning to the phrase 'try and try till u succeed'. a delightful representative of the age old indian quality of perseverance. Just put the fake moustache on him and Tusshki is good to open the act in the video.

Uday Chopra

he has been relaunched 5 times in bollywood now, but with little success. we say he deserves a 6th relaunch in the phir mile sur video. Put him alongside our famous red ass monkeys and he will blend in just fine.

Altaf Raja

“tum toh thehre pardesi, saath kya nibhaoge”. The pardesis might not support him, but swadesis certainly will. This lady killer deserves a meaty presence, with a dance step or two as an added bonus.

Rahul Mahajan

for reuniting the nation in a bid to help him in his swayamvar….sorry, swayamvar nahi, shaadi….rahul mahajan, the nation salutes u! just give him a 4 second presence in his bridegroom attire. Nothing more, nothing less.


for learning Marathi while In jail and giving statements in Marathi in the court, he wonderfully illustrates ‘sur milana’. As a friend of mine said, he is now half qualified to drive a taxi in mumbai.


one word: Deshdrohi. Supply him with his 6 inches tall heeled shoes and he can come alongside Tussiar in the opening act. Not to forget the Good Boy jacket as in the pic.

Viveik Oberoi

mission Istanbul was a turning point in his career. the smirky expression of viveik stands for unlimited courage and resilience. Lets give him a good wig and I bet he can steal the show in the video.

Jimmy Mistry

He singlehandedly made 2012 the biggest Hollywood hit in India with his inspired hindi accent “hume humara samaan pack karne hai”. This guys just awesome.

Matthew hayden

We decided to overlook the fact that he called India's second most loved sardar ji after Simpoo Singh,

an 'obnoxious weed' for pointing out the anthropological roots of one Mr Symonds.
In the wake of racist attacks on Indians in australia, he removed all doubts about his participation in the
IPL by declaring 'Indians have accepted me as a brother' while happily stuffing the fat
paycheck in his pocket.

Jermaine Jackson

whos the bigger celebrity in india now? Michael Jackson or Jermaine Jackson? He had all the bollywood stars queing up to him like whores. Hats off. Lets not ask him to sing though.

Annu Malliek

yaha ka aata wah wah, jooto mein bata wah wah :) patriotism has never been this awesome. His presence only on one condition, he sings his own part.

Raj Thackrey

lets give him the Marathi part in the video. It will ensure that the video is released without riots. Since hes always in white kurta pyjama, his costume costs are zero.

Smriti irani

If you thought the six words why she is here are - 'Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi', then you are wrong. The correct answer is - "The most shapeless fat body ever"

Sunny Deol

Arguably this man has done more for the country than anybody else in this video. He single-handedly saved Rajasthan from a Paki tank batallion with only Akshaye Khanna & Sunil Shetty for back-up (and we all know Akshaye Khanna is yellow). He was also the hero in the love story of a spy in 'Hero- love story of a spy' and then when they made a movie with young upstarts about 'Heroes' of the country... he kicked ass of non-patriotic scum without his 'legs'.

And of course... he pulled out a water-pump. Enough said.

Ramalinga Raju

he might be in jail now, but the guys got to be a freakin genius to do what he did and get away with it for so many years! Gulti as charged.

Shekhar suman, adhyayan, kangna ranaut

amitabh, abhishek and aishwarya is just too clichéd and boring. Things can be made much more exciting by replacing them with shekhar suman, adhyayan suman and his girlfriend kangna ‘you basterd’ ranaut. an additional free botox shot to shekhar suman before shooting.

Kids from slumdog

the kids who are always in the news, whether its their slum roof collapsing, or their teacher complaining that they don’t attend school or their father lying drunk in some gutter, the kids deserve a role in the video. Afterall, bhooka nanga india – the stereotype is now officially famous. Yes, we should pay them for the appearance.

Chetan Bhagat

When critics slammed his books, he claimed didn't understand literature. When 'Hello' flopped, he claimed Bollywood didn't know how to make films. When '3 idiots' became a hit, he claimed Aamir Khan didn't know how to read a book. What is a all-star video without a whining puss. Besides we need atleast someone to claim they wrote the lyrics.

Chinese guy from DoCoMo

Just ask yourself, would the DoCoMo ad be the same without his 'ooveyaaahooo... ho ho hoooo'? hes in, for being the most annoying guy in an ad in the shortest screen presence.

(the pic below is not of tht guy, its some random pic generated by a google search of ‘chinese guy’ )

Kishan Kumar

ever asked yourself ‘seriously, who made this guy a hero’. Well the secret lies in one simple fact. This guys got mojo. Papa the great is a must have in the video.


words are not needed. The Indian superhero is an automatic entry. Options include him coming alongside junior-g and captain vyom.

Ak hangal

how old is this guy anyways? This ageless dude whos looked the same for the last 40 yrs will add a mature touch to this vid…and probably the next version too.

Payal rohatgi

Some say she is the thinking man's Rakhi Sawant. Some remember her as 'Laila'. But we couldn't care less, this one is (ahem) an editorial team decision.

PS: We will neither deny nor confirm rumors of having seen all her films & having brought new phones to vote for her during Bigg Boss.

Savita Bhabhi

the Indian government is obviously jealous of savita bhabhi. The site took on the onus of doing sumthing the Indian government only talks and does nothing about: sex education. No wonder, the govt singled it out and banned it.

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